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The new is: once killed a man and fled to Canada.

1.33333

The new is: having the last word.

4

The new is: begging for it.

4.66667

The new is: leaving your windows open at night with a fan on.

4.66667

The new is: jacking off to porno subgenres that you couldn't even bear to watch ten years ago

5

The new is: doing what you said you were gonna do.

5

The new is: movie club, Sunday nights.

5

The new is: being proud of things that you, in fact, did not actually accomplish.

5.25

The new is: Michael Jackson for sainthood.

5.5

The new is: getting away with a 10-star idea because everybody is too lazy to rate my posts.

5.5

The new is: giving my doctor the roaring elbow

5.75

The new is: not watching hockey.

6

The new is: not knowing what you don't know.

6.5

The new is: Not being a douche bag.

6.66667

The new is: raspberries in vodka cranberry. Delish.

6.75

The new is: eat a bagel like a boss.

6.75

The new is: the switch button at the top of this page.

7

The new is: People trying to get you to do something by suggesting you will in front of a group of people...

7

The new is: playing baseball on steroids.

7

The new is: Ron Paul singles.

7

The new is: Mike & Molly's for last call.

7

The new is: becoming a professional athlete and getting away with everything.

7

The new is: / as a conjunction. Step aside but, and, or this junction has a new function.

7.33333

The new is: the Daily Paul

7.4

The new is: making as much noise as possible when Nancy is next door. WOOOOOOOOOO!

7.5

The new is: car chases and explosions

7.5

The new is: listening to older Beatles.

7.66667

The new is: The United States government staging military coups.

8

The new is: you got it dude.

8

The new is: newspeak.

8

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