The new is: the switch button at the top of this page.

The new is: Google Wave.

The new is: free stuff.

The new is: not for the squeamish.

The new is: booty shorts

The new is: getting away with a 10-star idea because everybody is too lazy to rate my posts.

The new is: Mike & Molly's for last call.

The new is: selling your tv.

The new is: leaving your windows open at night with a fan on.

The new is: having the last word.

The new is: begging for it.

The new is: growing your own vegetables

The new is: quickly getting over liars.

The new is: no regrets.

The new is: thinking about moving to another country.

The new is: giving my doctor the roaring elbow

The new is: stick-to-it-iveness

The new is: once killed a man and fled to Canada.

The new is: jacking off to porno subgenres that you couldn't even bear to watch ten years ago

The new is: / as a conjunction. Step aside but, and, or this junction has a new function.

The new is: you got it dude.

The new is: being proud of things that you, in fact, did not actually accomplish.

The new is: car chases and explosions